For you... my dearest love and truest friend.

Seven and a half years ago we met.  10 months later you asked me to be yours.  Five years ago tomorrow, October 1st, you made me your wife.  We haven't had it easy.  We've had fights that could have brought down the walls of Jericho...  without the marching soldiers.  We always manage to come out stronger on the other side.  We've been through more than it seems most people go through in marriages three times longer than ours... and that have crumbled under the strain of just living.  I truly believe that means we're going to make it for the long haul.  Some people do stay together forever and I pray for us to be one of those couples that defies the odds.  The first two years were hell.  The last three have been close to Heaven. 

I know I am not the easiest person to deal with what with my 24=hour monthly mood swings, my occasional passive-agressiveness and my affinity for reality tv,   But you seem to love me more with each passing year...  not less.  And I know that I love you more today that I did yesterday and less than I will tomorrow. 

You stand beside me when the world is against me.  You stand behind me when I stand up for myself.   Most importantly, you stand facing me when I need to hear reason instead of following my own impulsive nature.   You make me laugh during the bad times and you comfort me during the worst of times.  You are my rock.  

The things you do that annoy me most are also the same things that make me smile when I'm not around you.  The funny voices,, the way you get almost high off of Dr. Pepper, the dumb songs you sing with our pets' names in them.  They all drive me crazy and yet endear you to me more all the time. 

You make me want to be a better woman... a better wife... a better person, but you let me know that no matter what, I'm great the way I am and I'm ok.  When I feel like I don't measure up, you remind me you're not measuring.  When I feel like I fall short, you remind me there's no finish line and when I feel like I'm lost, you remind me I'm always at home with you. 

You are not perfect and I am far from it, but we seem to be perfect together.  You said once that there will be days that one of us wants to just...  be done.  That sometimes it would be me and sometimes it would be you, but so long as we never both woke up that way...  we'd make it.  Well, baby, so far so good.  And despite the rain that is falling outside and the rain that has fallen in our lives...  tomorrow looks like it's going to be a beautiful day.  

So, to you...  the yin to my yang, the peanut butter to my jelly, the Hamlet to my Ophelia (minus the death stuff)...  happy anniversary.  May our love grow ever stronger.

All my love, all my life. 


Thursday Thirteen - Movies... again.

No... not more movie lines like last week. That took forever to come up with and half of them eluded you, dear readers. And it's never my intention to make you feel stupid. Regardless of the tone of some of my filled in answers. Which, yes, I filled in the answers to the unguessed quotes.

At any rate my Thursday Thirteen is the list of movies I have to stop and watch if I'm flipping channels and it happens to be on.

1. Miss Congeniality
2. The Fugitive
3. Sense & Sensibility
4. What A Girl Wants
5. Speed
6. Batman
7. You've Got Mail
8. The Matrix
9. Any Harry Potter movie
10. The Usual Suspects
11. Sixteen Candles
12. The Breakfast Club
13. Any Tim Burton/Johnny Depp Movie

Ok, so 9 and 13 are multiple movies. It's my list, I can cheat if I want to.

Hamlet's Mistress

Wordless Wednesday: Home Decorating

[caption id="attachment_269" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="This guy makes me smile every time I look at him."][/caption]

The gremlin in my head...

Lately I've been thinking about the way I talk to myself.   It's not great, I gotta say.  On the whole I think I'm a good person.  Kind, loyal, can look nice when I put some effort into it.  I have good self-esteem overall.  But there's this voice.  This little nagging voice.  And we all have it.  The one that creeps up our back and peers over our shoulder as we look in the mirror.  The one that talks in our ear when we walk into a room full of people we don't know.   The one that does a song and dance in our stomachs when we have to stand up and talk.  The one who predicts failure before we even begin a task.  

I hate that one.  It's so mean to me that I wish I could just silence it never to hinder me again.  Never to make me self-conscious or fill me with self-doubt.  I wish it was a tangible thing I could just cast off and unburden myself with.  Because it's spiteful and hateful and vindictive and insulting and I am its primary target.   It's me.  The other part of me.  And I'm so over it.  So ready to be done with it.   I don't need something talking to me that way.   I'm better than that and worth more I sometimes think I am.  

So let me ask you this for Talk to Me Tuesday...  do you have that voice?  Do you know it's just you?  And how long would you keep a friend you talked to you the way you talk to yourself?   I've kept mine for 32 years...  and I think it's time to let her go.  

Hamlet's Mistress

Must Do Monday #3

Ok, so last Monday my goals were to:

Keep bedroom clean: Bedroom still clean!!
Figure out the problem with my sink and tub drains in the bathroom: DONE - thank you industrial strength drain unclogger stuff!
Not spend any money from my checking account - Didn't do so well on this one. But it's not all gone, just $60.

So THIS week!!

1. Finish cleaning Dining room.
2. Keep dining room and living room clean.
3. Clean Kitchen.
4. Clean bathroom.
5. Pay the landscaper.

Hamlet's Mistress

The Best Laid Plans...

I guess I shouldn't use that as a title.  Yesterday was mildly successful.  My family room is beautiful again and my dining room is 95% beautiful. However, as with most things I try to plan it became foiled by my own clumsiness. At one point I was stepping over the treadmill with a pile of framed photos in my hands and forgetting that there was a collapsed box on the floor on the other side of the treadmill (my husband is a big ebayer so boxes and bubble wrap are all over... or were before yesterday) and when I stepped over, my front foot landed on the box, which slid forward and I ended up almost falling... photos went everywhere and my back foot... the one that was still on the other side of the treadmill ended up hitting the treadmill with swift velocity right on the ankle. It seemed ok for awhile. Numb at first and I kept working in the house for about another half hour to 45 minutes. Then? My ankle started to throb and I looked down and it had swollen to another half size bigger and was hella painful. So I had to sit for awhile with ice on it and then a splitting headache started up. So that was about the end of the cleaning and began the day of watching the Penn State game and hanging out with my husband when he got home and then watching The Wedding Date/Phillies game and then Miss Congeniality.

But I am happy with what I did get done and next week he has another photo assignment so whatever I don't get done this week I can finish up Saturday. Although, that would include the kitchen... maybe I should avoid the knives.

Hamlet's Mistress

Today's the day!!

Holy crap, ya'll.  I didn't know "before 10am" even existed on the weekend.  It's not even EIGHT yet and I'm up.  Yes, I'm in my bathroom.  Not dressed or anything.  But I'm CONSCIOUS, which is AMAZING.  I have  roughly a little over 7 hours until my husband comes back in the door.  I have one errand to run but other than that I will be here and focused.  Although focusing has never been my strong suit.

I was going to take before and after pictures to show you what I get done today, but the reasons I can't are two-fold....  1.  my husband took the Audi which our camera was in so, I just can't and sketching it out would just take up way too much of my short time and 2.  I have no desire to be that mortified when it doesn't involve me running through stopped traffic naked....  in a dream. 

So I must get working, people.  And today around 2:30 when the Penn State game is in its 3rd quarter, I have a feeling I'll be watching it through my eyelids.... 

On and on a side note...  The Flyers opened training camp yesterday!!  HELLS YEAH!!

Hamlet's Mistress

Tommorow - So full of anticipation...

My husband has a photo assignment tomorrow.   Let me say that again.  My HUSBAND has a photo assignment TOMORROW.  Now, this isn't a big deal for any obvious reason, like we need money or he's trying to break into the business or anything.  He was a freelance photographer for 10 years for the Philly Metro and the Philadelphia Eagles and the Phillies.  He's been in Sports Illustrated a few times and even did the front cover photo of the hardback autobiography for a very famous, now deceased, baseball player.  So going out tomorrow to take pictures of like little kids playing soccer for Memory Mates isn't that big a deal.  

Here's why I'm practically GIDDY about it.   My husband and I carpool.  And we run errands together.  And we have the same friends and hang out with them together.  So what this means is we are together all. the. time.  Like ALL the time.  Other than the 8 hours we're at work.  Which, yeah, it's work... so not really quality "me" time.  Two weeks from today we will have been married for 5 years.  In that 5 years I have had time alone ummm....  maybe a handful of times....  so yeah, I'm due for some. 

I'm so excited about the prospect of 6 - 7 hours on my own at home.  I've been wanting to clean.  Like overhaul clean for ages but there's never time with the long hours away from home during the week and the errands and general goofing off that must be done on the weekend.    Dear readers, my husband is going to come home to a completely different looking house on Saturday and no...  he won't notice...  and no, unless I say something he won't say anything about it.  But I'LL know it's done.  I'LL know it looks better and I'LL feel some degree of satisfaction and pride in a job well done.   I could NOT be more excited.  I can't wait.  I'm even going to have us stop on the way home today so I can buy new cleaning supplies.  Or I'll buy them at lunch today.  Yeah, that's what I'll do. 

So think of me Saturday, cleaning my little heart out.  I promise I won't sleep the day away.  (I think.)  Unless something untoward happens like waking up sick or something.   I'm going to be Little Suzy Homemaker tomorrow and I can't effing wait. 

Oh and yeah, next Saturday??   Another photo assignment!!!  The house will be clean so the possibilities are ENDLESS...

Hamlet's Mistress

Thursday Thirteen - Movie Quotes

I love movies. Love them. Here are some lines that for one reason or another make me smile, laugh or cry.
I'm going to leave out the movie titles.  Might be fun for people to guess.   2, 12 and 13 have been guessed!!! 

1. "When someone asks you if you're a god... you say YES!"  - Ghostbusters - Guessed by Brenda.

2. "Thank YOU, Chuck Norris."  - Dodgeball - Guessed by Spot!!

3. "I'm not an ambi-turner.* - Zoolander - Not Guessed

4. "You have no idea how many legends have walked these halls, and what's worse... you don't care. Because this place where so many people would die to work, you only deign to work."  - Devil Wears Prada guessed by TxtingMrDarcy.

5. "It was you." "No, Ray. It was you." - Field of Dreams - not guessed

6. "Sometimes it makes me sad, though... Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend. " - Shawshank Redemption also guessed by TxtingMrDarcy.

7. "Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain. " - Back to the Future - not guessed (seriously??? Come on, people!)

8. "Ha! Your pig fiance is too late!" - Princess Bride - Not effing guessed. How did no one get this??

9. "I just adore everything Persian." "You've been to Persia, then?" "Yes, a hundred times. Along with St. Petersburg, Paris, Middle-Earth, distant planets and Shangri-la. And I never had to leave this room. Books are adventure. They contain murder and mayhem and passion. They love anyone who opens them." - Inkheart - I knew no one would get this, but it's one of my favorite movies and I've made it my mission to spread Inkheart awareness.

10.   "Run and hide, asshole. Run and hide. If you should be picked up next week buying a hundred-thousand dollar sports car in Newport Beach, I am going to be supremely disappointed. Because I want my people to find you, and when they do, rest assured we are not going to hand you over to the police. So my advice to you again is this: run and hide. That is all that I ask." - Ocean's 11 - not guessed.

11. "They’re called boobs, Ed." - Erin Brockovich - not guessed

12. "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."   - The Usual Suspects guessed by Steph.

13. " If we wanted two wussies, we would have named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman!"  - Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby - also guessed by guessed by Steph.

Wow. So much harder than I thought, but I'm also working at the same time. But there you go. Thirteen quotes for Thursday Thirteen!

Wordless Wednesday - Beauty at my house.

[caption id="attachment_199" align="aligncenter" width="495" caption="Unexpected beauty. We swept some birdseed of our porch directly above this months ago. And Ta-da!! A Sunflower growing from the driveway!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_204" align="aligncenter" width="496" caption="Knockout Rose. Was prettier a week or two ago. It has literally doubled in size since April."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_206" align="aligncenter" width="521" caption="I love this flower. It's called Guara. Like the knockout I planted it last year. It came back this year so beautifully."][/caption]

Bachelor Pad - Not just sex and debaucery...

Though there was plenty of that as well.  But seriously...  hands down the best strategy reality show I have ever seen.  The game-play was amazing.  I was enthralled every single week from the opening review of the week before to the closing preview of the following week.  It kept me guessing and yelling and endlessly talking about it to my husband who would rather push nails into his own eyeballs than watch it.  

I thought it was fantastic every week up and including the very last minute.  It was extraordinarily well done.  And that's saying a lot for a show full of so much smut, alcohol and cleavage.  

These two people played the game start to finish and deserve every penny of the $250000 they decided to share.   

[caption id="attachment_194" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Um, yeah, how yummy is HE?"][/caption]


At least hopefully it'll be a VERY LONG TIME before I hear Wes sing that damn song again.  Though I smell a Wes/Gia reality show.  I hope not. 

Anyway... Great show.  Great concept.  I guess we need like 17 more Bachelor/Bachelorette seasons before we have a cast of characters large enough to do this show again.   At any rate I enjoyed the ever-loving crap out of it.   Those who would judge me for it can suck it.  

Hamlet's Mistress

Talk to me Tuesday - Where would you live?

Sometimes it's interesting to imagine living somewhere else.  Wondering how geography might impact more than we think in our lives. 

As for me, I don't know which city I'd be in, but I'd definitely be in North Carolina.  My husband and I talk about it all the time.  Even though we live in Amishville, USA we're so tired of life in the Northeast Corridor and want to get the eff out.  It feels smothering.   We love North Carolina.  We'd love to be closer than 10 hours from the Outer Banks... our favorite vacation spot... and just be South.   Somewhere around Charlotte or Raleigh.  Asheville is getting just a bit too far inland and would still make OBX about 7 hours...  too far.   I know there's stress everywhere.  Life breeds stress, but the slower pace south of the Mason/Dixon just seems like it would suit us far better.  

So where would you be?   If you had to call someplace home other than you already do where would it be?   What state or country and why? 

Hamlet's Mistress

Must-Do Monday #2

It's that time again.  Tim to confess my slackerness on the prior week and set up some tasks to do this week.   So here goes!

Last week my goes were threefold. 

1.  Clean the bedroom. - Done - YAY!

2.  Buy my yarn for the froggie hooded blanket I need to make that I'm getting paid for. - Done - YAY!

3.  Lose 2 pounds.  - Didn't happen.

So the two main things got done.  The third I just threw in on a whim. 

So this week...   tasks are:

1.  Buy drain cleaner for sink and tub in bathroom because my God, I cannot stand them backing up.  And they do.  Horribly.

2.  Keep bedroom tidy - because cleaning up has never been my problem.  Keeping it that way has.  

3.  Do not spend any more money out of the checking account until payday (the 24th).  I got that walking around money out for a reason when I deposited my last check..  When that's gone...  it's gone.  If that means I have $58 to get me through 10 days of lunches, so be it.  Maybe I can talk the Mr. into us going grocery shopping this coming weekend.  (yes we grocery shop together).

4.  Get kitchen sink dish free and keep it that way.  

My husband has a photo assignment this weekend, so that will give me a chance to really get some work done in the house.  I'm excited.  I hate cleaning when he's there and since we're always together, he's always there when I'm there.  I already can't wait for Saturday and hopefully next Monday I'll have a whole crapload of stuff to tell you all I got done.  

Hamlet's Mistress

On fat acceptance, self-worth and plus-size clothing companies...

First off, I have to say I hate the term "fat acceptance".  Like it's some burden on people to be ok with someone else being fat.  That I don't like.  Even if it is introspective, as in someone accepting that they are fat...  can't there be another term?  Like can't we just use self-acceptance?  Although, I guess that doesn't really work because you can be sel-accepting without being content about how you look or feel.  So maybe "fat acceptance" is as good as it gets and so long as it's on the introspective level, I guess it's ok. 

That said, I have the utmost respect for my compatriots of the chubba who have reached the realm of "fat acceptance" (FA from here on out because I even hate typing it.)  I wish I could get there.  I wish I could just be happy with being healthy and not let the number on the scale get me down.  I wish I could.  I can't.  I've tried and I can't get there and I'm not sure I want to. 

Make no mistake, I do not tie my self-worth to a number on the scale.  I'm nice and funny and kind, sympathetic and fiercely loyal - until you give me a reason not to be.  I know I'm someone worth knowing and worth loving and I know I have something to contribute to this place for as many turns around the sun as I'm given.  I'm telling you, as soon as I figure out what that something is...  I'm going to set the world on fire.  So I know my weight doesn't define me and I don't think about it all the time.  But I'm not cool with it.  I'm just not.  I want to wear the cute pretty clothes, I want to be perceived as on the ball and not prejudged as being lazy or not in control of myself.  I hate the stigma that comes with being overweight and I do wish I had the gumption to fight it.  But I don't.  I'd rather be trim.  Or even just average sized at this point.   

This is another reason why I wish I could find a career that earns a decent income but doesn't take me away from home for 13 hours a day.  I want time to prepare the right foods.  Time to exercise.  Time to get a full nights' sleep.  I feel like there's just no way to get it done.   Yes, I could exercise at night I suppose.  After I return home after the super long day away from home.  After I've spent 8+ hours at the most stressful job I've ever had that is not rewarding, not inspiring and that I hate.  But you know what????  I'm tired.  I want to spend the last few hours of the day doing what I want to do instead of what everyone else wants me to do.  And I certainly don't want to spend it sweating my ass off, huffing and puffing and just generally being gross.  Maybe I'm just lazy.  Probably.  It's more than likely my fault.  

I would never ever do it, but I daydream about grabbing a fat roll and a knife and just cutting it off.   Again...  never would...  don't send the men in the white coats to come gather me up for my own good.  I may daydream about it, but I also hate pain and blood and anything to do with pain...  and blood.  So fear not.  self-mutilation is not on my agenda. 

All I know is I watched my grandmother spend the last 7 years of her life in a chair and the last 5 months of her life in bed because of her health and being so overweight her whole adult life.  I don't want that for me.  I don't want that for my husband.  And I don't want that for any future children we may have.   And while I'm on the subject of kids...  I want to have a healthy pregnancy and I know stuff can always go wrong regardless of size, but  I don't want to increase the risks by something I can do something about.   Plus, I've had some issues already back in my 20s when I had to have a procedure to try to shrink, but not remove a good-sized benign tumor.  Why not removed?  Because it goes from the inside to the outside of my uterus.  Meaning if it wasn't there...  there'd be a hole and my doctor said she's had two women with the same kind of internal to external tumor and both of them had it removed and it weakens the uterus and they both miscarried around 17 to 20 weeks and she had no desire to make it 3 and if I got it removed, that was my choice, but she wouldn't be my doctor when and if I ever got pregnant.  That was enough motivation for me to not have it done.  I already know if I have a baby it won't be a vaginal birth and it will be a higher risk pregnancy, though not high risk.  Do I really want to add to that with the issues that I invite by being this weight and getting pregnant?  No.  That would be the answer.  No. 

So, I just don't know.  The easy answer is to lose weight.  The hard part is the execution.  I suck at it horribly and, as you can tell, I don't really go into it with a positive attitude.  Oh, I used to.  Like the first 16 times.  But now?  I think I'm so scared to fail that I don't even want to try.  But I DO want to try and I DO want to succeed. 

I haven't made it to the top of that FA mountain.  And I have no intention to.  So what to actually do instead of that is the question.  If I'm not going to accept my body as it is, then I'm going to have to do something else because my other choice is just to stay miserable in relation to my body.  And I don't want to dwell in that place anymore.  I've been there for about 7 years and as far as I'm concerned...  I've overstayed my welcome.  I'm ready to go.  I'm face to face with the next step.

Along these same lines...  while I'm trying to figure all this out, I still do need to clothe my body.  So I have to buy plus size clothes.  Can SOMEONE please tell me WHY in God's name companies who specialize in plus size clothing think it's a good idea to use effing size 2 models to display the clothes???  They're not going to look like this  on me.  It's just not.  All this does is make me feel like crap when my new clothes arrive and they don't fit.  If you're going to sell plus -size clothes...  use plus-size models so we have SOME WAY to make a judgement on how this stuff will actually look on our NON-size 2 bodies.  Seriously.  I'm looking at you Woman Within, One Stop Plus, Roaman's and many many others.  On and ya'll charge me $6.50 every single time I have to return something because my mind couldn't increase the size of your models by 8 sizes to know if they'll work out before I buy them.  Yeah, thanks for that.  Jerks.  


Hamlet's Mistress

Much to my chagrin...

As part of my being away from my home like 13 hours a day Mon - Fri and then needing to run errands and just generally get shit done pn the weekends it has become part of my normal life to hire a landscaper to keep my flowerbeds weed free.  I plant the flowers, I make them pretty and the landscaper keeps them that way.  Around April I had them cut back my butterfly bush.  The butterfly bush that was the  draw for my Wordless Wednesday photo. 

I emailed the landscaper to ask him and his crew to come out, tend the weeds and cut back my weeping cherry tree so it would look more like a weeping cherry and less like Don King. So imagine my initial joy when I came home to weed free flower beds and a weeping cherry that was once again in the shape of a dome. I never know when they're coming so it's always a delightful treat. And THEN I let the dogs out and was face to face with a huge void by the side of my house where my BUTTERFLY BUSH USED TO BE!! It had been cut back to about 12 inches. Normally butterfly bushes don't get cut back until April when first new growth begins to appear.

Now on the one hand, the bush WAS huge and getting out of hand and could have stood a good TRIM back. But they hacked it down to its Spring stub. So I don't know how I feel about this. My husband said that the thing was huge, which, yeah, I know. But it's GONE. Butterflies LOVED that thing and even still yesterday they were on it by the dozens. Now? Gone. I even saw one sad Tiger Swallowtail flying around and I could just hear its little brain saying, "What the FRIG???" It was kinda depressing.

So yeah, I'm not sure how to approach this. I guess the biggest part of me is just like "Whatev." But at the same time, the cutting back of that bush is $40 and I expected about a $30 invoice and it will now be more like $75 - $90. *sigh* Not to mention poor Mr. Tiger Swallowtail...

Hamlet's Mistress

Wordless Wednesday

[caption id="attachment_165" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Beauty in my backyard. "][/caption]

Talk to me Tuesday

Here we are...  the day I'm most nervous about.  The one where I need YOU, dear reader, who doesn't usually comment to do so or else it's just me answering my own question and really??  How is that fun?   The questions won't always be serious and will more often than not probably be more fun or silly...  but I have something weighing on my mind.  

In less than a month I will be celebrating my 5 year wedding anniversary to my wonderful husband.  We got engaged after being together for 10 months and we got married a blazingly fast 20 MONTHS later.  Yeah, sense the sarcasm.  What this means is that those closest to us who knew moments after we got engaged that there would be an impending wedding had almost TWO YEARS to prepare for said wedding.   Most guests don't need that long.  You get your invite a month ahead of time, you send back your RSVP and you either go or you don't. 

For some people who live 3 hours away and are of limited means, it takes a bit more planning.  You're talking an overnight trip.  Granted, it's an overnight trip to your ONLY NIECE'S wedding, but an overnight trip nonetheless.  Now the neice in question (that would be me) thinks you are the bee's knees.  Always has.  You were awesome, spunky, a free spirit and your niece effing ADORED you. 

So 132 miles one way and a night in a hotel.  We're talking maybe $150...  total.  Food, booze, good times...  free of charge.  So we're talking about putting aside less than $2 per week for the duration of the engagement to come witness your biggest fan and, did I say this?, ONLY NIECE get married and then the RSVP card was sent back "Will Not be Attending" and your niece...  not to mention her mother, your ONLY SISTER, was crushed. 

Ok, enough of that speaking directly to my aunt stuff.  I was crushed.  Heartbroken.  And hurt beyond belief.  It is 5 years later and I should SO be over it.  But I'm not.  I just want to know WHY.  I want to ask and I want there to be a GOOD VALID REASON why she couldn't be there.  Why she couldn't attend.  Because I don't understand, I will never understand.  And until I am un-chicken shit enough to actually ask her and find out why...  I'll never be able to let it go.  

So that's the question for today.   Are you holding on to something you should let go?  You don't have to say what it is if it's too personal and it's just now dawning on me the stupidity behind asking a Yes/No question for Talk to me Tuesday, but what's done is done.  More than a yes or no would be nice.  :)   

Hamlet's Mistress

Must-Do Monday

Well, here we are, readers, my first official Must-Do Monday post.  Wherein I will make a list of things I might get done will do before the next Must-Do Monday list comes out.  This makes me totally accountable because next week I have to tell you what I got done.  Since I don't want the whole interwebs to know how lazy I am, I am really going to make every effort to complete the list.  I'm a grown ass woman.  I can Get Shit Done. 

So here's this week's list.

1.  Clean the bedroom.  It's bad ya'll... like gross bad.

2.  Get the yarn bought for the froggie hooded blanket I'm being paid to made.

3.  Lose 2 pounds.

That's it.  I'm going to start simple and work from there.  I have a ton of things I want to get done.  Like donate the movies we don't ever watch, which means sorting through easily over 300 dvds, get all my yarn organized, get bookshelves set up with actual books on them instead of stuffed animals.  (no we don't have kids).   And just a whole plethora of stuff that needs done and that I want to get done and I'm hoping Must-Do Monday helps me do just that.

So check in next Monday to see how much of a slacker I've been how well I completed my three goals for the week!!

Hamlet's Mistress

Layers of Me

I stole this from Amazing Greis who stole it from somewhere else.  It seems to be the kind of day that no one feels like doing much of anything.  We're taking the dogs up to where my parents camp today and having a cookout with them.  Looking so forward to it!!  But for now, here's me...  in a nutshell... I'm in a nutshell....  how did I get in this shell!  (Sorry, flashback to Austin Powers)  ANYWAYS....



The layers of me

layer one
name: Amy
birth date: May 10
birthplace: Pennsylvania
current location: Pennsylvania
eye color: Hazel
hair color: Brown
height: 5’5″
righty or lefty: Righty
zodiac sign: Taurus

layer two
your heritage: German, French, Scottish
the shoes you wore today: None yet
your weakness: Brownies
your fears: Being buried alive.   The dark, I'm scared of the dark.       

your perfect pizza: Extra cheese and pepperoni with cold pizza sauce for dipping on the side.

layer three
your most overused phrase: Effin' A, man
your first waking thoughts: "Seriously...  again?"
your best physical feature: Hubs would say breasts...  I say eyes.
your favorite memory: When I was 12 and I thought my parents went out to surprise us with pizza and they came home with a puppy.  She was my first dog. 

layer four
pepsi or coke: Coke - Diet
mcdonald’s or burger king: Tough call...  but I like more at BK than McD's, so BK
single or group dates: Single.
adidas or nike: Nike
lipton ice tea or nestea: Anything BUT Lipton.  No preference otherwise.
cappuccino or coffee: I don’t drink coffee

layer five
smoke: Yes, but ironically hopefully not starting today.  I've been weaning for the past 2 weeks.
cuss: yup
sing: I'm Christina Aguilara in the car.
do you think you’ve been in love: Yes
want to go to college: I did.  But would love to have the ability to go back for an education degree.
liked high school: Most of the time.
want to get married:  Done
believe in yourself: Rarely
get motion sickness: No
think you’re attractive: Again, rarely.
think you’re a health freak: Um, no.  I wish I was.
get along with your parents: 99% of the time.
like thunderstorms: LOVE THEM!  Love to sit on the front porch and watch them.
play an instrument: Piano and I played trombone in high school.  Could probably still.

layer six
in the past month…
drank alcohol: No
smoked: Yes
done a drug: No
made out: Yes
gone on a date: No
gone to the mall: Yes
eaten an entire box of oreos: Um, no... ew.  I hate Oreos. 
eaten sushi: No
been on stage: No
been dumped: No
gone skating: No
made homemade cookies: No
gone skinny dipping: No
dyed your hair: No
stolen anything: No
you sound boring: I'm married.

layer seven
played a game that required removal of clothing: No
if so, was it mixed company: N/A
been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes
been caught “doing something”: No
been called a tease: Yes.
gotten beaten up: No
shoplifted: Yes, when I was about 10.
changed who you were to fit in: No.

layer eight
age you hope to be married: Got married at 27.  Wanted to be married at 24. 
numbers and names of children: None *sad trombone*
describe your dream wedding: Knowing what I know now?  Eloping anywhere.
how do you want to die: With my dignity still in tact.
where do you want to go to college: Went to Penn State would get a second degree anywhere nearby.
what do you want to be when you grow up: I realized the 1st semester of my senior year of college that I wanted to        teach.  By then it was too late to start over.  Maybe someday.                                                                                                                           what country would you most like to visit: Australia I want to see a flock of parrots.

layer nine
number of drugs taken illegally: Ever?  one.
number of people i could trust with my life: I guess 5.
number of cds that i own: Not many. 
number of piercings: one in each ear and a former one in my belly button... oh and another former one from my rebellious teen angsty years.  I prefer not to talk about it.
number of tattoos: 2
number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: No idea.  A few times while I was in school, I guess.
number of scars on my body: Probably about 15.  I have cats.  They have claws.
number of things in my past that I regret: One.  Getting fat.  I was never fat growing up.  I did this.

Well, time to get up, get moving and get showered.  Have a great rest of the weekend everyone!!

Hamlet's Mistress




Free to be Me Friday - Mel Gibson can suck it.

Seriously, he's totally messed up my happy movie viewing life.  I cannot stand to watch him at this point.  Some of the movies I like the most?  The ones that if you're flipping channels and they are on, you stop and watch because it's just. that. good. are his.  Well now that's all screwed up.  Like Ransom.  I love the movie Ransom.  Because of equal parts Mel, Gary Sinise and all the talk of the original Time Machine.  Love it.  It's a stop clicker for sure.  The Leathal Weapons...   and The Patriot, the American version of Braveheart.  And DON'T get me started on Braveheart....  that was a nice rainy Sunday morning movie to pop in the DVD player and just get lost in the music and the cinematography and the story.  

All ruined, because he just disgusts me now.  Don't get me wrong, I wasn't thrilled with his anti-Semetic rant awhile back...  but there are things we all think that we know we should never say.  Maybe not such sensitive and overly offensive things, but things none the less and when we're drunk...  well, the gloves come off.  Believe me, I know.  Drinking, Amy and secrets don't go together all that well...  at. all.   That being said I don't condone the whole anti-Semitism, Holocaust denyingthing  I could semi pass it off as being drunk and not guarding his thoughts better. 

But THAT along with the stuff that happened a month or so ago.  I'm just done, I think.  I didn't realize it until Ransom was on TV about a week or two ago and I so wanted to watch it, because I love it...  but I just couldn't.  I couldn't watch him and not hear his screaming and heavy breathing and just out and out hysteria.  And I will admit his ex-girlfriend on the phone was completely pushing buttons and egging him on, but come-on, Mel...  you're a grown ass man.  Control your emotions.

So yeah...  there's like 6 or 7 movies taken out of the "stop and watch" rotation.   OH and What Women Want...  that's such a fun movie.  Ruined.  

Thanks, Mel.    You have no idea how much you've inconvenienced me.  Dick. 

Hamlet's Mistress (luckily I always hated your version of Hamlet....  so no loss there.  At least try to FAKE a British accent for the love of God...  it's like watching Kevin Coster in Robin Hood).

Who has the time?

I want to write.  I want it more than I can even say.  I see these tweets on Twitter where people are like "oh, I wrote 10000 words today"  "I wrote 6200 words today"  HOW?  WHEN?  Do you not work?  Do you have no responsibilities at home?  When does someone find the time to do this?  I have SO many things and ideas and stories I want to write.  Like I said when I started this blog....  I have things to say.   But how does anyone find the time to do it?  I am away from my house anywhere from 13 to 15 hours a day, every day, except the weekends and with that kind of schedule do you know what I want to do on the weekends?  Nothing.  Sleep.  That's about it.  And in the evenings I have to tidy up the house, do the dishes, laundry, tend to the animals' needs, tend to my husband's needs, which more often than not, I'm just too tired for which is a serious point of contention in the house.  I want to be a better housekeeper, a better wife, a better person and a better writer but when...  when is there time for 85% of that?  I'm so tired.  Constantly.  Life exhausts me.  And oh, I want to lose weight, too.  But finding the time to make sure we have all the healthy right food in the house?  Let alone exercising?  And people say you make time for the important stuff...  well, last I checked there were still just 24 hours in a day and I haven't figured out how to MAKE there be more than that and for at least a third of them, IF I'm lucky, I need to sleep or things will just fall apart even more.  I don't know what to do really.  I'm in a job I hate, I carpool with my husband which takes a million years out of my day.  I commute easily an hour and a half each way to and from work.  THREE HOURS.  If I didn't my round trip would be an hour, at the most.  It saves us money, yes, but at what cost?  I'm just frustrated and I feel trapped and I don't know what to do.  I mean, look, I can't even make paragraphs anymore.  This is how everything in my head is, too, just all jumbled together with no hope of finding order.  I'm not a miserable person.  I'm a happy person.  I love my husband and my animals and I can find the joy in most things.  But yeah, sometimes, people, THIS is where I am.  This mashed up mess of ten thousand things that seem like I should be doing instead of what I AM doing.  And for the third time, I just don't know what to do. 

Hamlet's Mistress