In which I thought I had lymphoma... (and other ramblings)

Spoiler alert - I don't have lymphoma.

Anyway, there was this thing in my ear.  I didn't think much of it.  Pimple maybe?  Kinda hurt but no biggie.  And no, I know there are no lymph nodes in my ear for any of you medically gifted people out there who are already trying to connect the dots and tie in my thinking I had lymphoma into the thing in my ear.

So a few days later my ear hurt more.  Then Tom and I were in the car and I rubbed my neck and felt a lump on the side.  It was about the size of a pea and hard.   I immediately started to cry.  The ear was hurting more, not getting better and a dr's appt was made.   In the back of my mind I was confident the two were linked.  In the front of my mind, I was surely dying of lymphoma.  

Turns out I had a nodule in my ear that had become infected.  Like mother of all infections infected.   And the lump in my neck?  That was the lone lymph node trying to fight the infection.  Don't ask me why the rest of the lymph nodes didn't step up to take part in the battle, but they didn't.  That lonely little lymph node was fighting it's heart out and I'm so appreciative.

Long story short the infection got taken care of and yesterday the nodule was taken care of and after the infection was taken care of within two days the lump in my neck was gone.  That lymph node is somewhere tropical on a well deserved vacation.  I'm sure of it.

And aside from some pain, I'm all better now.  Just need to heal.


School is back in now.  Which means very little to me since I have no kids and don't go to school.  It means nothing except for two things.   TRAFFIC is the first thing.   They've built so many new homes and townhouse complexes between here and my husband's work that even in the summer there was heavy congestion.  Now that school is back in?  We're having to leave between 15 and 30 minutes earlier.  And STILL stopping and sitting in traffic.  The 15 to 30 minute buffer isn't to avoid the traffic, it's to allow for time to sit in it.  The other thing the start of school means is that I'm back to being the morning driver.  During the summer my husband drives in the morning.  But he has ZERO patience for traffic when he's the passenger and even less than that when he's the driver.  So now that we have super heavier traffic during the school year, I have to be the bleary eyed driver in the morning.  INTO the sun.

And just for the record, can I ask a question?  See, in stop and go and SUDDEN stop traffic, I leave room in front of me lest I rear-end the person in front of me.   Makes sense to me.  Seems a lot like logic.   So can anyone tell me WHY people in the right lane think that's an open invitation to move over in front of me to the left lane?  Thereby effectively removing my buffer zone?  Because it happened 6 times on the way to work just this morning.   I'm not talking like a ridiculous about of space.  I'm talking a car length, in which they squeeze in their car.  It gives me stabby pains in my eyes.   Along with the ones I already have in my ear.


You know, I had this whole thing written in this space here, but I'm not doing it.  Some issues I don't want to revisit to be quite honest with you.  But let me just say this.  I've recently come to believe that someone I used to be very good friends with but are now just Facebook friends with may read this blog.  So let me just say this:

To you, if you are reading, you know who you are.   Of everything I lost 5 and a half years ago for better or worse...  and in most cases for the better - you - are my only regret.  I see pictures of you, your husband and your two beautiful girls and when I see your face?  Oh my gosh, I just love you.  And miss you.  So very much.  And while I don't actually expect anything between us to change because I really think some things may be insurmountable for me to get past (which is totally my issue, not yours at all) - I just wanted you to know how I feel about you.  I think you are a remarkable woman with a beautiful heart.  And I always will.
- Love, Amer



Tammy H said...

Thank god for little nodes. My daughter gets a funky (and very rare) ear infection every once in awhile and these nodes are our first sign of trouble. They are little warriors.

I know the feeling of having that very special friend that you wish was still your go to person. It is very lonely without them, at least you have the guts to put it our there. I never could.

From Tracie said...

For real....I have had those little bumps on my neck like that when something funky was happening to my ear, and never knew what they are. In fact, I've been secretly scared of them (no insurance means not asking a doctor what is wrong) and reading this made me feel so much better! Can you be my doctor now?

I know your last section wasn't written to me...but I have to say that I have someone in my life I feel that way about. Hugs to you.

Hamlet's Mistress said...

Tracie - I'm not actually a doctor, but I play one on my blog. :)

Tracie & Tammy - Thank you. My friend did get in touch with me (turns out she DOES read this) and I have hopes for us going forward. :)

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