When moments that define us die...

Today I found out that an old high school boyfriend... and my prom date... died.  On Saturday.  I am utterly torn apart.

Nate was a wonderful guy.  Kind.  Sweet.  Funny.  We were together just 5 months.  Which at 17 is like, forever,

We broke up, mainly just because I was going off to college and he had another year of high school left and we knew it just couldn't work.  So it ended.

Now years later he went in for surgery on a hernia and came out a vegetable.  And now 6 months later.  He's dead.  I didn't know anything about what was going on.  Just happened to see something about a memorial for "Nate" on Facebook and happened to ask "Nate who".

My senior year of high school near the end of the year in my AP English class, we read a poem called The Egyptian Vase.  We talked about it afterwards and how those vases the Egyptians made told stories of their lives.  Our teacher said that as we were leaving high school and "starting our lives" that we all had an empty vase and we would be painting it with the most important moments of our lives and things that meant the most.  It was an eloquent speech and has most of the girls in tears and the guys looking solemn.

About two weeks later was prom.  Nate arrived in a limo and we were taken to dinner.  He brought a dozen roses and a teddy bear.  When we were in the limo he sat in the seat across from me and he just looked at me.  In the most gorgeous dress I've ever worn (yes, including my wedding dress) feeling wonderful and he just smiled and said, "You know? I've always known you were beautiful, just because you are.   But tonight?  You've blown my mind."

It's on the vase.  It has been ever since and always will be.  And I just can't wrap my head around the fact that that wonderfully beautiful boy is gone.  I will always have that memory that for me will encapsulate everything I loved about him forever.

The world is that much darker today because Nate's light has gone out.  And my world is darker because the creator of one of my brightest, most shiny glittery moments is gone.

Godspeed, Nate.   And thank you.


From Tracie said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Sending you hugs.

Anonymous said...

This is a lovely piece of writing and so very sad. I'm sorry for your loss... He sounds like a very sweet young man.

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