Ten reasons our home is just a starter...

1.  We have one neighbor with 15 gas grills in their side yard.

2.  Same neighbor also has at least three hundred and twenty-four lawn ornaments.

3.  There are 8 houses within a tenth of a mile from our home that have fake water wells in their front yard.  Strangely enough that's the ONE yard ornament previous neighbor doesn't have.  Unless it's hiding behind the rest.

4.  One neighbor put a drinking fountain IN their fake water well.  Like an industrial, in a school hallway drinking fountain.

5.  You can't drink the water here...  which everyone knows and previous neighbor has already told us the drinking fountain won't actually be for drinking.   Um, so then why?

6.  Another neighbor has a mobster car in their front yard.  Like a 1940s black big ass mobster car.  Like this:

But not as nice.   And did I mention it's in the FRONT YARD?   But I will admit it's better than the big electric blue  GMC Jimmy with the plow on the front with the weeds growing up through it that was there before the mobster car.  So things are looking up there.

7.  Everyone who lives around here has been here FOREVER.  They have no desire like we do to get out of this neighborhood and into some place nicer.  They all inherited their houses, which I guess makes us stupid because we actually BOUGHT ours.  We paid to live here. 

8.  Our home is 900 sq ft.  Prior to living here we rented my husband's grandmother's house from family.  BAD IDEA.  But it was 3300 sq feet.  And then we bought this place thinking we didn't need more room for just us and our pets.  Wrong.  And also, we can never have a baby here.  There's no place to put it.  :( .

9.  We commute 47 miles each way to work.  We carpool.  I spend an hour and a half driving every morning. 

10.  We're certain our home was built as a project to see how many things you can do wrong in the house and still find a schmuck to buy it.  I'm looking around the livingroom right now and I see 1, 2 schmucks.

We gave ourselves a 5 year timeline to live here.  June 30th was 2 years.  Here's hoping for good things to happen in the next three years.   Fingers crossed and mind racing as to what we can do to make it happen!!

With lofty ambitions....   Hamlet's Mistress


Spot said...

Oh my, that does sound bad. I'm totally lost as to the whole drinking fountain/well thing. Just um...wtf?! I think you should probably not talk to the neighbors, it might be catching. Just saying...


hamletsmistress said...

I left out our immediate neighbor who hates cats and when I described our 3 to him soon after moving in and told him if he ever sees them out, it means we're looking for them because they're indoor exclusively he said he'd bring them back... in a brown paper bag. He also has lots and lots of guns. Not just one or two. Lots... and he doesn't hunt.

chanel said...

Your neighbors sounds like HOARDERS to me, lol. Homes that have all of that miscellaneous stuff like fawn figures and fake ceramic ducks are a bit much to me.

hamletsmistress said...

I know, right? I didn't even mention how many picnic tables they have. I think they're a family of 4 or 5. In a little over two years I've not seen them eat outside once.

Post a Comment