If you want me on your side... shut up!

Dear NFL Football Players -

I'm with you.  I feel you.  You want to keep the status quo and I'm down with that.  If my employer told me that I had to give back money to them because of financial issues...  I'd want to know why, too.  They wouldn't show me their books...  no employer would.  But I understand where you're coming from and I feel you completely.

But why, oh why, can't ya'll just keep your mouths SHUT?  You want to ingratiate yourselves to the fans by coming on sports talk radio shows and tv shows to plead your side and it doesn't work.  At all.  You blog, you Facebook, you get all up on the Twitter.   But then?  You say something so completely asinine that it just makes the fans...  remember us?  The fans?  Without whom you wouldn't have the privilege of arguing about a billion dollars if not for us?... go "Whaaaa?"

This morning, one of your own...  one of your own that I freakin' ADORE because he just seems like a good, God-fearing, down to earth, kind-hearted man... made the comment, "Those millions don't last forever."  Ummmm...  why is that again?   Millions...  with an "s".   Those comments, they do NOTHING to ingratiate you to us.  The lowly fans.  We make...  on average 50K a year.  That's more than I make and I'm sure less than others make, so it's probably a good number to go with.  50K.   No M.  No Illion.  And certainly no s.   Football players, if you make it and have a half decent career of 3 - 5 years, with the average being 4 - though I know of MANY who are in the game longer than that.  However, the player who made that statement this morning has played in the NFL for 5 years and may, God-forbid, be done.  I like his replacement...  but I love him.   However, in those 5 years he earned almost 4 million dollars.   See?  Millions...  with an s.

I truly believe what you NFL players need are a few money management courses...  second only to a healthy dose of common sense and reality.  Think I'm wrong?   Give me 1.5 million.  Not even millions...  just 1 and a half million.   And then follow along.

1.5 million.  Right off the top lets buy a nice, modest home in the suburbs.  $300000.  No mortgage.  Then, lets buy a car for the player and his...  hopefully wife.  Because he shouldn't be buying anything as big as a car for just a girlfriend.  That would be unreasonable.  Unless it's like a long time girlfriend who might as well be a wife...  and in that case...  man up and put a ring on it.   So two, reasonably nice vehicles.  $60000.  $30000 per car.  So where are we?  1.14 million.  So we've got no mortgage, no car payments and 1.14 million in the bank.

Put it in something that earns you 5% interest.  You can find financial vehicles that pay more, but let's go on the low side...  just to prove a point.   5% interest on 1.14 million compounded monthly is $4750 a month.   So lets run with that.

$4750 - health insurance for a family of 4 $1114- auto insurance for 2 cars and 4 drivers (who drive sensibly) $300 - homeowners insurance on a $300000 home $75 - Food $1500 - Auto maintenance $200 (you won't need that much every month...  it's called budgeting) - Gas $600 =  $961.   $961 - TV/Phone/Internet 150 - Cell phone 160 - utilities 400 = $251.

You have my permission to use the $251 however you choose.   Oh and lest we forget, there's still 1.14 million dollars in the bank.   With that 1.14 million you can... at age 60 start taking out $38000 per year for 30 years assuming death at 90.  Or leave it as an inheritance to your kids.  You know...  just in case they aren't BLESSED enough (you are blessed do you realize that?) to earn millions... with an s... of dollars playing a professional sport and have to go out like the rest of us and SLAVE day in and day out to bring home our meager $50000 per year.   My God, you all must MARVEL at how we all manage to get by on such pathetic earnings.

The millions don't last forever, Mr. NFL player??  Well why the hell not.

Especially if you don't start with 1.5 million and you actually start with 5 or 6 or more.  Millions of dollars....  with an s.

Please don't think that I mean that you all don't earn what you make...  you do.  You never know when your career could just end in a heartbeat.  In a PCL tear.  You just never know.  I'm also not saying that you shouldn't earn that much.  I think you should.   I also think the construction worker, the people who hang off of buildings, the people whose jobs ALSO put them on the line continuously... daily... for potential life changing injury deserve to make that much.  The fact remains that they don't...  but you do...  and I think we, as fans, would like to see a little more appreciation for the position you all are in and the potential earnings you all stand to make.

When comments like "The millions don't last."  and "Who's going to take care of my family if I die or have serious injury?" come out of the mouths of our favorite players while they bring home more that we can imagine in our lifetime?  It doesn't make us like you more.  Or place our alliance on your side.  It just shows us the immense gap that divides you from us.  You entertain us, you make us feel, you make us passionate...  don't ruin that.  Keep your comments to yourself and keep the fans on your side.

Much love to you all.  My heart beats for football from September to February.  Don't take that from your fans.



~ifer said...

I could NOT agree more. The millions will last forever if they don't insist on living it up like rock stars and throwing it all away.
Man, what I could do with just a portion of that money, like you said. I would like to try, at least. Think I could find someone to sponsor my attempt at living off 1.5 million?

Amy said...

I thought about a corporation or something that would sponsor that for ME all the way to work. If I find one I'll let you know. Right after they dole out my 1.5M. :)

CathiC said...

A Ghostbusters fan and a football fan? Woman, I could not love you more right now. This is a brilliant post - I was nodding in agreement at every line.

Post a Comment