Apparently I'm a fragile, fragile little girl...

So I took that personality test that many employers give now upon hiring someone... the DiSC.  It stands for Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientiousness.  My friend had taken it (not because she's a new hire but because she may be up for promotion) and I found the test online, but not the full results because companies pay big money for this so they don't really give it out for free.   It was 24 questions of 4 words and you had to pick the one that described you most and then described you least.

I came out with Ultra-low dominance, ultra high influence, slightly high steadiness and ultra-low conscientiousness.   Thanks to my friend having all the possible charts...  I fall into the counselor category.  Which, yeah, I totally get that.  But I found a whole thing about ways people should talk to me and deal with me.   Holy cow.   Um walking on eggshells much?   But as I read them?  They're dead on.  I'm hugely sensitive.

For instance, no one should talk to me when they're really angry.  Like about anything.  Not necessarily anything have to do with me specifically.   And yeah...  because when my husband is angry...  as he was last night because his pasta wasn't coming out right (too much flour) and he was getting frustrated and yelling back in the kitchen...  for the first time I noticed I had balled myself up on the couch with one of my dogs and was watching TV like a deer in headlights.

Oh and I take criticism personally.   Which I TOTALLY do.   It says that discussions with me should always be in dialog form rather than just being "talked to".   Oh and when I get stressed I get disorganized.  Disorganization in my job causes mistakes and mistakes cause MORE stress which causes more mistakes.   So my new focus at work is to stay collected and not to stress.   I don't handle mistakes well...  because I don't handle criticism well...   when I find a mistake I've made, I visibly start shaking.

So yeah.   What does this all boil down to?   I feel very sorry for anyone that has to deal with me.  I'm so sensitive.  I guess that makes me a "dish it out but can't take it" kind of person.  Which sucks.   Although...  in my rants on this blog, they're usually not directed at one single person.   So there's that.

I do feel slightly comforted that although I may be completely neurotic...  that there's actually a category for me that isn't just "crazy".   There's obviously other people like me.  It makes me feel a little less alone and actually, a little more in control.   And it's going to help me I think.  When my husband was angry last night about his pasta and I noticed my fetal position and death grip on my doggie...  I got the dogs together and we went outside for about 15 minutes.   By the time we came in, his friend had called and he was on the phone while making a 2nd batch of pasta and by the time he hung up he realized his flour mistake... and all was well.   I think it will help me to know this and remove myself from situations that will upset me and cause me stress.

Although, from everything I read??  That means I'll come out of hiding pretty much 5 days after never...

If you want me on your side... shut up!

Dear NFL Football Players -

I'm with you.  I feel you.  You want to keep the status quo and I'm down with that.  If my employer told me that I had to give back money to them because of financial issues...  I'd want to know why, too.  They wouldn't show me their books...  no employer would.  But I understand where you're coming from and I feel you completely.

But why, oh why, can't ya'll just keep your mouths SHUT?  You want to ingratiate yourselves to the fans by coming on sports talk radio shows and tv shows to plead your side and it doesn't work.  At all.  You blog, you Facebook, you get all up on the Twitter.   But then?  You say something so completely asinine that it just makes the fans...  remember us?  The fans?  Without whom you wouldn't have the privilege of arguing about a billion dollars if not for us?... go "Whaaaa?"

This morning, one of your own...  one of your own that I freakin' ADORE because he just seems like a good, God-fearing, down to earth, kind-hearted man... made the comment, "Those millions don't last forever."  Ummmm...  why is that again?   Millions...  with an "s".   Those comments, they do NOTHING to ingratiate you to us.  The lowly fans.  We make...  on average 50K a year.  That's more than I make and I'm sure less than others make, so it's probably a good number to go with.  50K.   No M.  No Illion.  And certainly no s.   Football players, if you make it and have a half decent career of 3 - 5 years, with the average being 4 - though I know of MANY who are in the game longer than that.  However, the player who made that statement this morning has played in the NFL for 5 years and may, God-forbid, be done.  I like his replacement...  but I love him.   However, in those 5 years he earned almost 4 million dollars.   See?  Millions...  with an s.

I truly believe what you NFL players need are a few money management courses...  second only to a healthy dose of common sense and reality.  Think I'm wrong?   Give me 1.5 million.  Not even millions...  just 1 and a half million.   And then follow along.

1.5 million.  Right off the top lets buy a nice, modest home in the suburbs.  $300000.  No mortgage.  Then, lets buy a car for the player and his...  hopefully wife.  Because he shouldn't be buying anything as big as a car for just a girlfriend.  That would be unreasonable.  Unless it's like a long time girlfriend who might as well be a wife...  and in that case...  man up and put a ring on it.   So two, reasonably nice vehicles.  $60000.  $30000 per car.  So where are we?  1.14 million.  So we've got no mortgage, no car payments and 1.14 million in the bank.

Put it in something that earns you 5% interest.  You can find financial vehicles that pay more, but let's go on the low side...  just to prove a point.   5% interest on 1.14 million compounded monthly is $4750 a month.   So lets run with that.

$4750 - health insurance for a family of 4 $1114- auto insurance for 2 cars and 4 drivers (who drive sensibly) $300 - homeowners insurance on a $300000 home $75 - Food $1500 - Auto maintenance $200 (you won't need that much every month...  it's called budgeting) - Gas $600 =  $961.   $961 - TV/Phone/Internet 150 - Cell phone 160 - utilities 400 = $251.

You have my permission to use the $251 however you choose.   Oh and lest we forget, there's still 1.14 million dollars in the bank.   With that 1.14 million you can... at age 60 start taking out $38000 per year for 30 years assuming death at 90.  Or leave it as an inheritance to your kids.  You know...  just in case they aren't BLESSED enough (you are blessed do you realize that?) to earn millions... with an s... of dollars playing a professional sport and have to go out like the rest of us and SLAVE day in and day out to bring home our meager $50000 per year.   My God, you all must MARVEL at how we all manage to get by on such pathetic earnings.

The millions don't last forever, Mr. NFL player??  Well why the hell not.

Especially if you don't start with 1.5 million and you actually start with 5 or 6 or more.  Millions of dollars....  with an s.

Please don't think that I mean that you all don't earn what you make...  you do.  You never know when your career could just end in a heartbeat.  In a PCL tear.  You just never know.  I'm also not saying that you shouldn't earn that much.  I think you should.   I also think the construction worker, the people who hang off of buildings, the people whose jobs ALSO put them on the line continuously... daily... for potential life changing injury deserve to make that much.  The fact remains that they don't...  but you do...  and I think we, as fans, would like to see a little more appreciation for the position you all are in and the potential earnings you all stand to make.

When comments like "The millions don't last."  and "Who's going to take care of my family if I die or have serious injury?" come out of the mouths of our favorite players while they bring home more that we can imagine in our lifetime?  It doesn't make us like you more.  Or place our alliance on your side.  It just shows us the immense gap that divides you from us.  You entertain us, you make us feel, you make us passionate...  don't ruin that.  Keep your comments to yourself and keep the fans on your side.

Much love to you all.  My heart beats for football from September to February.  Don't take that from your fans.

Amy

CYNTHIA!!!*

Unbeknowst to my dear reader, Cynthia...   she was my 300th comment yesterday!

Tell her what she's won, Bob Barker!!!

Bob Barker**:   A new car!!!

Um, no, Bob...  not quite.

Bob Barker:  Well, shit, I still make good money saying that! Haven't you seen the State Farm commercial?

Maybe with your good money YOU can buy Cynthia the new car.

Bob Barker:  Who?

Forget it.   I'll take it from here.

Bob Barker:   Sounds good ....  on to the Showcase Showdown!

Just. Wow.  Ok.

So Cynthia...  let's have us a little sit-down so we can chat.

First, thank you for reading.   I big puffy red hearts love you for it.   Secondly, thank you for commenting because every comment makes me do a happy dance that looks a LOT like my I have to pee dance, but it comes from a different place emotionally...  I promise.   Thirdly, you haz won prizezzzzz!    (Actually just one prize, but I thought that sounded more fun.)

You have a choice of a $30 eGiftCard to...

1. Sephora
2. Sock Dreams
3. Amazon

So tell me!! Tell me!! What do you choose??? Because HUZZAH to you!!!

*The Cynthia in question would be the Cynthia who left a comment for me yesterday on my Gordon Ramsay post. If you are not that Cynthia, this post does not pertain to you. You did not win an eGiftCard and you most definitely did not win a new car. Also, if you didn't get an email from me? You're not the Cynthia I'm looking for. If you WANTED to win any of those things (minus the new car) you should have commented on my post. But you didn't, so Cynthia, meaning the non-winning Cynthia's of the world... I'm sorry. It's just not your day.

**Celebrity representation.. though deadly accurate... fake.

Gordon Ramsay, what have you done??

Dear Mr. Chef Ramsay,

My husband's new obsession is your show, Kitchen Nightmares.  We DVR every episode.  Seriously... every single episode.  New, old, Kitchen Nightmares, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares... all of 'em.  We'll go to bed at night with like 6 left in the DVR and we'll come home from work the next day and there'll be 17.  Apparently your show is on somewhere most hours of the day. But of course, you probably know that.

My husband and I used to go out to eat...  a lot.  We enjoyed it very much.  It was always a nice, pleasant time.   Now, at dinner out I hear things like this:

• The basil is over-cooked and bitter.


• The Marsala sauce is too thin.  They should have reduced it.


• There aren't any pine nuts in this pesto.

Yes, going out to eat used to be fun.  Now it's laden with criticisms, critiques and thoughtful pondering expressions while he tries to figure out both what is IN what he's eating and what would be better.

And he cooks now.  About 4 nights a week we have dinner at home.   Lemon chicken salad, barbecue chicken, veal parmesan,  homemade pizza from scratch.  Dough from scratch...  sauce from scratch.  Oh and Italian wedding soup... which was lovely.   It all is.  It's fabulously delicious.  He's really good.  Really. Good.

You've created a monster that has made going out to eat a nightmare and eating at home a delight.

You've created a chef.

Thank you.

Your biggest fan's wife,

Amy

I'm with the band...

I have something I'm SO excited about!!

I joined up with Band Back Together in an actual working capacity. The Band meant so much to me when I posted there about my grandfather's suicide a little over 3 months ago. It's creator, Aunt Becky, who is one of my blogging heroes, by the way, asked me if I'd like to join up. Um, yes please? And so I did.

I find I'm so excited about this I can barely stand myself and it's only been 3 days and my husband already is starting to sigh when I mention the band. I may have been talking about it incessantly over the past 36 hours... maybe.

And it's so crazy, but now I talk to Aunt Becky like almost every day. It's amazing. And she's just as lovely as I thought she was.

If you haven't been over to The Band yet, you so need to check it out. Many of you, like me, may just see it as a place were amazing people have overcome extraordinary circumstances. Like me, it may even make you feel grateful that you have nothing to write. And then, like me, out of nowhere, one day you might. And when you do? The Band will be there for you, too.

It's an extraordinary place and I could not be more honored to be a part of it.

Destiny

So on tv tonight something was said that hit me.  Someone was told "your destiny is just waiting for you to show up".  Is that true?  Is my destiny just waiting for me to show up?  I know I feel that way most of the time.  Like I'm almost RIGHT THERE.  Almost.  Like I'm right on the precipice of what I'm supposed to be... doing whatever it is I'm supposed to do.  I'm so ready to show up to meet my destiny.  I just wish I knew what it was and exactly what I need to do to meet it.  And most importantly, what should I be wearing when I do?  I think I need to find some destiny meeting appropriate apparel...

My new life goal...

I saw The King's Speech last night.   First and foremost...  excellent movie.  Just extremely well done.  And I know I didn't see The Fighter, so I cannot comment on Christian Bale's performance, but Geoffrey Rush was sublime in The King's Speech.  And let's not forget to mention my irrational love for Helena Bonham Carter.

However, all that being said, my new life goal is to meet Colin Firth.  I told my husband on the way home...  I said, "Hon, every decision I now make in my life moving forward is going to be to move me toward that goal of meeting him... just so you know.  If I do something that doesn't make sense, just realize it's more than likely got something to do with that. "

So now I need to figure it out.  I figure I need to either write a wildly popular book that will be made into a movie and he will be the star and I will be on set to observe from time to time OR just write a screenplay for him.  The stipulation of both the movie rights and the purchase of the screenplay will be that I get to meet him.  If not?  No deal.  That's RIGHT.  NO DEAL.  Do you hear me future Hollywood people clamoring after my brilliant work?  I meet Colin or you can all go pound sand!!

Colin Firth will be 50 this year, so I need to start the wheels churning for roles suitable for a 55-year-old main star...  57 if I start with a book instead of going right to a screenplay.

I will meet Colin Firth.  Oh yes, indeed, I will meet him.

How could I not.  Just look at him.  He's a treasure.



 

Name the Movie Quotes #2

In honor of Sunday night's horrible Oscar Awards (seriously, how long has James Franco actually been dead and how many puppeteers did it take to get him to almost look alive?) it's time for more fun with Guess the Movie Quotes!!!

1.   We're at the airport...     Yeah, so?...  I already seen the airport.  Speed - guessed by Cindy

2.   If the guy owned a funeral parlor, no one would die. - WALL STREET

3.   Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?  - Airplane!  Guessed by Brooke

4.  I've loved you from the moment you sat on that ridiculous pinecone.  - The Sound of Music - guessed by Cynthia

5.  When I look at you I see nothing of the king.  Only that whore, your mother.  My father never did anything so well as to cut off her head.    Elizabeth - guessed by Cynthia

6.   As to where I am, I was, admittedly, lost for a moment, between Charing Cross and Holborn, but I was saved by the bread shop on Saffron Hill. The only baker to use a certain French glaze on their loaves - a Brittany sage. After that, the carriage forked left, then right, and then the tell-tale bump at the Fleet Conduit. And as to who you are, that took every ounce of my not-inconsiderable experience. The letters on your desk were addressed to a Sir Thomas Rotherham. Lord Chief Justice, that would be the official title. Who you *really* are is, of course, another matter entirely. Judging by the sacred ox on your ring, you're the secret head of the Temple of the Four Orders in whose headquarters we now sit, located on the northwest corner of St. James Square, I think. As to the mystery, the only mystery is why you bothered to blindfold me at all.     - Sherlock Holmes - Guessed by Brooke

7.  Road? Where we're going, we don't need roads. Guessed by Brooke

8.  Hello. Unfortunately, we must start the story with an empty chair.   If it wasn't empty, however, we wouldn't have a story.   But, it is, and we do, so we must tell it. - NANNY MCPHEE

9.  Okay boys, gather around here and listen up. We're shuttin' it down, Wyatt Earp's here to mop up.  - THE FUGITIVE

10.  Panda Watch. The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off.   Anchorman - Guessed by Brooke

Ok, everyone.  Lets see what you've got!!

Finished work for charity...

So I made this.   It was a lot of time.  And it was supposed to be a wedding gift.  However, in the meantime a benefit was announced for a former high school friend of mine and what I started to make for the auction was turning out horribly and I was running out of time, so I grabbed this back up, added about 12 more rounds to it, crocheted night and day to get it done, because I'd spent so much time working on the crappy piece.  But I got it done and it went to the benefit.  I don't know how it did.  But I'm going to imagine that it was the star.   Every piece I make has a little piece of my heart with it.  I swear sometime this year I'm going to make something for me.  But first?  I have a new wedding present to start...