Penpal, that is? I was reading Jessica's post today. She was talking about penpals and how wonderful they are. And I want one. I don't know how good I'll be at it, but I won't know if I don't try. So... Who wants to write me letters and get letters back from me? That's how it works, right?
Not quite a post...
Posted in
Daily Drivel
So I was going to post tonight about LeBron hate and Heat Hate and how it's ridiculous and how I hope they win. How I feel bad for LeBron that the masses seem to be holding on stupid decision (The Decision, to be exact) against him. He had every right to leave Cleveland and most sane people should understand that. I mean, the Cleveland fans don't, but I get that. I understand fanhood and that they now are obligated to hate him forever. But everone else? Get over it. Yeah, the WAY he left Cleveland... very poorly handled. But how people are equating that to him being a bad player... and the HATE? I just don't get it. I mean other than the grand show he had last night where he was less King James and more the king of just standing there... he's phenomenal. If he continues on this path... again aside from last night... he will be the best player we've seen... ever. And aside from that asinine hour he spent on ESPN that one night... he's a decent person. You know what? I like him. You know what? I like the Heat. You know what? I hope they win. And lastly, you know what? I hope they do it in grand style winning the next two and LeBron having 35 point nights. Yeah, that's right you Heat Haters and you LeBron Haters. In your face.
Hey look at that. I guess I do have a post. With a picture and everything.
Good night. And yes, tonight was infinitely better than last night. No one puked... no one got attacked... no one got diarrhead on.... and the Phillies won. It was a good night.
Not the relaxing night I'd hoped for.,,
So tonight I had plans. Big plans for a relaxing night. An hour or so of the Phillies game... which quickly turned into watching SVU since when I turned on the game it was 4 to 1 Phillies losing. And then at 9, game 4 of the NBA finals that I'd watch for an hour on the couch and then the rest in bed. Which, by the way, can you tell me why they put the games on at 8 during the weekend and at 9 during the week?? I think that's just... rude. But anyway, that was my plan. I was looking forward to it.
And then? A crisis. My dogs like cat litter, it's gross, but there it is. And while we keep the box clean... there's always something in it bcause I don't follow my cats with a pooper scoop. So the bathroom, where the litter is, is open all day when we're at work. It's closed for the couple of hours at night when we're awake and the dogs are out. Then it gets opened back up at night when we're in the bedroom and the dogs are in there with us.
Well, this usually works A-OK with no problems. Tonight? Not so much. My husband left to go running at the park and our one cat let out a mournful meow. I asked her what was wrong and she came over to be petted, so I thought she just wanted some love. Then? She peed on the floor. Poor thing. I had that bathroom shut so it was my fault. I didn't have the heart to be mad at her. UNTIL... I came back into the room armed with a wad of paper towels and she was... squatting. I said no no no no and I grabbed her and started to run to the bathroom. And that's when she shot diarrhea all down my pant leg. Y'all, nothing will make me puke faster than being pooped on. I can hardly wait to be a mom what with the projectile pooping and the atomic diapers. Anyway... I tossed the cat down to the floor. Figuring they always land on their feet and right there in the den I stripped off my pants and undies. I've never undressed so fast. I was like a horny teen on prom night. But without the terrible sex and instant regret.
Then disturbed by my yelling and gagging and the dogs running around like idiots, one of my other cats just freaking FLIPPED OUT. He was arching his back and growling and hissing. I managed to get the one dog out the back door. The other dog tried but the Insta-Devil Cat blocked the way. So the other dog I got into the bedroom but on the way PsychoCat attacked her from behind so she ran into the bedroom howling. But she was in there... so all was well. I just had a crap ton of crap to clean up. Which, oh my gosh, I do NOT handle well. At. All.
Then suddenly I heard the dog in the bedroom going buck wild yelping and whining. So I go in and she's in her crate backed up to the back of it. Our bedroom cat - he lives there because Psycho Cat hates him and wants him dead, don't worry... our bedroom is HUGE with lots of windows and cable. He's a happy cat. But anyway, so the bedroom cat is standing in the entrance way of the crate... probably just to say hi to the dog I put in the bedroom because they're buds... but my dog was like "OMG CAT!! YOU'RE ALL EVIL TO ME NOW!!" and she was just having a frenzied CONNIPTION FIT. So I got bedroom cat away from Scaredy Dog and shut the crate. THEN I continued on my endeavor to clean the poop.
I called my husband and was like, "I need you home now." He wanted to know what was going on... I told him that Easygoing Dog was outside, Scaredy Dog was in the crate and might be hurt, Psycho Cat was slowly getting back to normal but was still meowing in that weird, "I'm barely holding my crap together" way that means he's walking a fine line and Sick Cat was nowhere to be found, could be hurt from me throwing her down and wherever she was, she was probably still pooping.
My husband did another 8/10ths of a mile and came home. What a guy. When he got home I had all the crap cleaned up, my pants in a trashbag and down the laundry chute and Psycho Cat was normal. Scaredy Dog as still in the crate, Laidback Dog was still outside and Sick Cat was still MIA... and probably still pooping. Not to mention the house stunk to high heaven.
I'm happy to report that Sick Cat was found and is unhurt and didn't poop anymore.... Scaredy Dog is unhurt and the only bad side effect is that Psycho Cat and Scaredy Dog are no longer friends. Which sucks, but we'll deal. So after all that I sat down to watch the NBA game that had been on for 20 minutes at that point and promptly spilled my soda all over the power strip where everything is plugged in. Good times.
I think it's time for bed.
And then? A crisis. My dogs like cat litter, it's gross, but there it is. And while we keep the box clean... there's always something in it bcause I don't follow my cats with a pooper scoop. So the bathroom, where the litter is, is open all day when we're at work. It's closed for the couple of hours at night when we're awake and the dogs are out. Then it gets opened back up at night when we're in the bedroom and the dogs are in there with us.
Well, this usually works A-OK with no problems. Tonight? Not so much. My husband left to go running at the park and our one cat let out a mournful meow. I asked her what was wrong and she came over to be petted, so I thought she just wanted some love. Then? She peed on the floor. Poor thing. I had that bathroom shut so it was my fault. I didn't have the heart to be mad at her. UNTIL... I came back into the room armed with a wad of paper towels and she was... squatting. I said no no no no and I grabbed her and started to run to the bathroom. And that's when she shot diarrhea all down my pant leg. Y'all, nothing will make me puke faster than being pooped on. I can hardly wait to be a mom what with the projectile pooping and the atomic diapers. Anyway... I tossed the cat down to the floor. Figuring they always land on their feet and right there in the den I stripped off my pants and undies. I've never undressed so fast. I was like a horny teen on prom night. But without the terrible sex and instant regret.
Then disturbed by my yelling and gagging and the dogs running around like idiots, one of my other cats just freaking FLIPPED OUT. He was arching his back and growling and hissing. I managed to get the one dog out the back door. The other dog tried but the Insta-Devil Cat blocked the way. So the other dog I got into the bedroom but on the way PsychoCat attacked her from behind so she ran into the bedroom howling. But she was in there... so all was well. I just had a crap ton of crap to clean up. Which, oh my gosh, I do NOT handle well. At. All.
Then suddenly I heard the dog in the bedroom going buck wild yelping and whining. So I go in and she's in her crate backed up to the back of it. Our bedroom cat - he lives there because Psycho Cat hates him and wants him dead, don't worry... our bedroom is HUGE with lots of windows and cable. He's a happy cat. But anyway, so the bedroom cat is standing in the entrance way of the crate... probably just to say hi to the dog I put in the bedroom because they're buds... but my dog was like "OMG CAT!! YOU'RE ALL EVIL TO ME NOW!!" and she was just having a frenzied CONNIPTION FIT. So I got bedroom cat away from Scaredy Dog and shut the crate. THEN I continued on my endeavor to clean the poop.
I called my husband and was like, "I need you home now." He wanted to know what was going on... I told him that Easygoing Dog was outside, Scaredy Dog was in the crate and might be hurt, Psycho Cat was slowly getting back to normal but was still meowing in that weird, "I'm barely holding my crap together" way that means he's walking a fine line and Sick Cat was nowhere to be found, could be hurt from me throwing her down and wherever she was, she was probably still pooping.
My husband did another 8/10ths of a mile and came home. What a guy. When he got home I had all the crap cleaned up, my pants in a trashbag and down the laundry chute and Psycho Cat was normal. Scaredy Dog as still in the crate, Laidback Dog was still outside and Sick Cat was still MIA... and probably still pooping. Not to mention the house stunk to high heaven.
I'm happy to report that Sick Cat was found and is unhurt and didn't poop anymore.... Scaredy Dog is unhurt and the only bad side effect is that Psycho Cat and Scaredy Dog are no longer friends. Which sucks, but we'll deal. So after all that I sat down to watch the NBA game that had been on for 20 minutes at that point and promptly spilled my soda all over the power strip where everything is plugged in. Good times.
I think it's time for bed.
Ok. Everyone who was friends with me on the Hamlet's Mistress Facebook page... I'm now HERE. Please please please join me there. Loves!
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My pre-pubescent self is somewhere heartbroken...
Posted in
Daily Drivel
Maybe this is old news and maybe I'm just way behind on this... But Jonathan Knight is gay. GAY. Now, don't get me wrong... I have no issues with people being gay or homosexuality in any way... but WHY, JON?? WHY? Man, he was totally the New Kid on the Block I was going to marry. So introspective, so quiet, so understated and underrated. He was perfectly gorgeous and perfectly mannered. Not flamboyant like the rest of them. Cool, calm and reserved. And he was going to be my husband. Sigh. C'est la vie, I guess.It's shocking to me. Because really? I'd have guessed Jordan all day long and twice on Sunday...
[caption id="attachment_926" align="alignnone" width="199" caption="Can you blame me?"]
[/caption]Now if you'll excuse me, my 12-year-old self needs to go eat a pint of ice cream.
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