So, apparently we'll be murdered...

In the car on the way home from work today:

Tom:  When we have a son we're going to name him Thomas William the Second and Third.  That's what they'll go by  Second and Third

Me:  What like two sons with the same name except the Second and Third?  And we'll CALL them that?  Yeah, ok.  THAT won't lead to any feelings of inferiority.

Tom:  No, one son.  He'll be the Second & Third.

Me:  Like him and his undeveloped conjoined twin?  Like popping out of his shoulder?

Tom:  No, head.  In fact we could just get like a latex prosthetic thing to put on his head.  We could call it Phil.

Me:  I thought we'd call it the Third.

Tom:  Well, that would be his GIVEN name, but we'd call him Phil.  We should DO IT.

Me:  You have PTSD over your parents taking a picture of you in a Groucho Marx nose and glasses when you were 5 but you want to put a prosthetic undeveloped conjoined twin on our son's HEAD?  You STILL haven't forgiven your parents for that and you're 32...  what would OUR kid think of US at 32 if we did that??

Tom:  He wouldn't think of us at all since he would have brutally murdered us while we slept 9 years earlier.

Me:  So our son would be in prison and it would be our fault.  Nice.

Tom:  Don't worry, he'd get off.  I mean, his parents made him wear a prothetic undeveloped conjoined twin on his head.  I see "Not Guilty" in his future.


Maybe this is why we shouldn't have kids...  like ever.


Spot said...'s like I was listening in on one of the conversations at my house. giggle-snort. It's okay though. You can have kids. We did. And they totally turned out fine-ish. =]


CathiC said...

Too funny! Giving kids a warped sense of humor is half the fun of raising them. ;)

Nicole, the Queen of this life said...

LOL! That was a great conversation and definitely one I could see having. I agree with Cathi. Gotta give them a sense of humor so they survive adulthood!

Triplezmom said...

That made me laugh out loud.

Charisse said...

That was effing hilarious! Wow. And on the day that I REALLY needed something hilarious like that!!! I just found you on Twitter. Twitter actually suggested you and here I am! Looking forward to coming back.

Amy said...

Thanks, everyone!! It was a pretty surreal conversation to have. About halfway through I was shocked to find the conversation still going...

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Funniest thing I've read all day.

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