They say it's your birthday... it's my birthday, too, yeah!

I turned 33 today.  Thirty-three.  I can't say I'm happy about it.  But I can't say I'm all that upset, either.  I thought today was going to be a lot harder than it was.  Every year since 30 has been hard.  I guess I expected them to get progressively worse.   But, it wasn't terrible.

The only part of the day I loathed was cake time in the conference room.   I'm 33... now... the next oldest person I work with is 49.  So today, just like every year, when we were all there and someone said, how old are you?  And I replied with 33... just like every year, the whole room groaned.  "33?!?"  "Oh, I WISH I was 33"  "Oh, you're such a BABY!"   You know what?  Shut the hell up.  I'm sorry you're old.  Really.  But shut the everloving hell up.

Yes, I'm 33.  Yes you're ALL old enough to be my mom.  True, for some of you I'd be an unwanted, unexpected pregnancy at 16...  but you're still old enough to be my mom.  And the rest of you??? Legitimately old enough to be my mom.  Like without whispers and gossip behind your back.

It's as though somehow the things I feel that I have failed at, haven't accomplished or just flat out haven't even tried to do that I've wanted to do long before now don't matter because I still have PLENTY OF TIME.  How old do I have to be before someone is like, "You're right, you'd better get on the ball."  I guess I should feel good that all these people still think the world is my oyster, but you know, it doesn't feel like that.  It feels like the tide has gone out long ago and I'm late to the beachcombing party and all the oysters are gone.

Luckily, the talk of being SO YOUNG didn't last long.  After that it turned to the couple people who are turning 50 soon and have to schedule their first colonoscopies.  And I know that's spelled wrong and none of the suggestions are the right word...  and you know what?  I'm too young to care how to spell it so HA!!  Want to know something else??  I don't even have to schedule my first mammogram for another 7 years.  So SUCK IT!!

Hmmm...  I seem to be an angry 33 year old.   Maybe I'll get more done than I did as a complacent, don't ruffle any feathers 32 year old.  This could be fun.


~ifer said...

I have always said it was never the number that bothered me, but more the fact that it seems to be going by so fast.

I hope you have a Happy Birthday!

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