Is This Art?

My parents and my in-laws live 10 minutes apart from each other and we live 10 minutes from both of them.  We know this is a blessing and we should enjoy it for as long as that remains the situation.  And we do.   But every holiday we spend time with both sets of parents and, you know, when we got married we decided that Easter would be our holiday.  We don't see either family.  We spend our time together.  When and if we have kids, we're going to pick something to do and it will be our Easter tradition.  For our family.

For now, we do whatever we feel like.  We always do SOMETHING.  Today we went here:

[caption id="attachment_800" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Philadelphia Art Museum"][/caption]

I'd actually never been there.   Which is kind of shameful given I live, like, right here and all.  It was a 40 minute drive.  That's it.  anyway, never been there.

Now, I enjoy art.  I do.  Monet, Renoir, Matisse, Van Gogh...   Picasso... and my personal favorite, Dali.

Some art, though, I just don't get.

Like this:   (2 old rusty ale cans on an old piece of wood)


And this:  (which is actually an Andy Warhol)

So I decided to give it a shot:

I call it "Curled Museum Map on Floor".

ANNOUNCEMENT!!

I know I haven't been here and there have been a couple reasons for that, but the biggest reason and the cause of my announcement is....  I've launched a business!!!!!   I am SO EXCITED about it and I want to just tell everyone I come across about it.  After I say what it is....  keep reading.   I'm an AVON LADY!!  And I'm so excited about it.  This is NOT your mother's Avon. The stuff is SO nice and yet, priced so reasonably.  About a decade ago I was a rep for that "other" company that, although they have great products, you have to take out a loan to finance your purchases.  (Read:  Expensive).

The big announcement is that my website is OPEN FOR BUSINESS as of TODAY!!  You can order online and your items will be shipped direct to you.  Orders over $30 have FREE shipping.  It is worth your time to take a look.

There are reviews for the products written by both Avon reps and customers.  Mostly customers.  I've found them profoundly helpful, particularly on the fragrances.  Fergie's Outspoken is my scent of the moment.  I love it!!   I've heard wonderful things about Chic in Black as well.

There is pretty jewelry, cute shoes and even some clothing along with their award winning Anew skin care line from age 30+ to 60+ and their color cosmetics line - AVON Color.  The ever popular Skin So Soft line had been expanded as well.     Like I said...  worth a look.

So please head on over to my online store.  Visit once, visit often.   I loves you all and would really appreciate you all.  Whether you but or not.  My love is not conditional.  :)

Apparently I'm a fragile, fragile little girl...

So I took that personality test that many employers give now upon hiring someone... the DiSC.  It stands for Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientiousness.  My friend had taken it (not because she's a new hire but because she may be up for promotion) and I found the test online, but not the full results because companies pay big money for this so they don't really give it out for free.   It was 24 questions of 4 words and you had to pick the one that described you most and then described you least.

I came out with Ultra-low dominance, ultra high influence, slightly high steadiness and ultra-low conscientiousness.   Thanks to my friend having all the possible charts...  I fall into the counselor category.  Which, yeah, I totally get that.  But I found a whole thing about ways people should talk to me and deal with me.   Holy cow.   Um walking on eggshells much?   But as I read them?  They're dead on.  I'm hugely sensitive.

For instance, no one should talk to me when they're really angry.  Like about anything.  Not necessarily anything have to do with me specifically.   And yeah...  because when my husband is angry...  as he was last night because his pasta wasn't coming out right (too much flour) and he was getting frustrated and yelling back in the kitchen...  for the first time I noticed I had balled myself up on the couch with one of my dogs and was watching TV like a deer in headlights.

Oh and I take criticism personally.   Which I TOTALLY do.   It says that discussions with me should always be in dialog form rather than just being "talked to".   Oh and when I get stressed I get disorganized.  Disorganization in my job causes mistakes and mistakes cause MORE stress which causes more mistakes.   So my new focus at work is to stay collected and not to stress.   I don't handle mistakes well...  because I don't handle criticism well...   when I find a mistake I've made, I visibly start shaking.

So yeah.   What does this all boil down to?   I feel very sorry for anyone that has to deal with me.  I'm so sensitive.  I guess that makes me a "dish it out but can't take it" kind of person.  Which sucks.   Although...  in my rants on this blog, they're usually not directed at one single person.   So there's that.

I do feel slightly comforted that although I may be completely neurotic...  that there's actually a category for me that isn't just "crazy".   There's obviously other people like me.  It makes me feel a little less alone and actually, a little more in control.   And it's going to help me I think.  When my husband was angry last night about his pasta and I noticed my fetal position and death grip on my doggie...  I got the dogs together and we went outside for about 15 minutes.   By the time we came in, his friend had called and he was on the phone while making a 2nd batch of pasta and by the time he hung up he realized his flour mistake... and all was well.   I think it will help me to know this and remove myself from situations that will upset me and cause me stress.

Although, from everything I read??  That means I'll come out of hiding pretty much 5 days after never...

If you want me on your side... shut up!

Dear NFL Football Players -

I'm with you.  I feel you.  You want to keep the status quo and I'm down with that.  If my employer told me that I had to give back money to them because of financial issues...  I'd want to know why, too.  They wouldn't show me their books...  no employer would.  But I understand where you're coming from and I feel you completely.

But why, oh why, can't ya'll just keep your mouths SHUT?  You want to ingratiate yourselves to the fans by coming on sports talk radio shows and tv shows to plead your side and it doesn't work.  At all.  You blog, you Facebook, you get all up on the Twitter.   But then?  You say something so completely asinine that it just makes the fans...  remember us?  The fans?  Without whom you wouldn't have the privilege of arguing about a billion dollars if not for us?... go "Whaaaa?"

This morning, one of your own...  one of your own that I freakin' ADORE because he just seems like a good, God-fearing, down to earth, kind-hearted man... made the comment, "Those millions don't last forever."  Ummmm...  why is that again?   Millions...  with an "s".   Those comments, they do NOTHING to ingratiate you to us.  The lowly fans.  We make...  on average 50K a year.  That's more than I make and I'm sure less than others make, so it's probably a good number to go with.  50K.   No M.  No Illion.  And certainly no s.   Football players, if you make it and have a half decent career of 3 - 5 years, with the average being 4 - though I know of MANY who are in the game longer than that.  However, the player who made that statement this morning has played in the NFL for 5 years and may, God-forbid, be done.  I like his replacement...  but I love him.   However, in those 5 years he earned almost 4 million dollars.   See?  Millions...  with an s.

I truly believe what you NFL players need are a few money management courses...  second only to a healthy dose of common sense and reality.  Think I'm wrong?   Give me 1.5 million.  Not even millions...  just 1 and a half million.   And then follow along.

1.5 million.  Right off the top lets buy a nice, modest home in the suburbs.  $300000.  No mortgage.  Then, lets buy a car for the player and his...  hopefully wife.  Because he shouldn't be buying anything as big as a car for just a girlfriend.  That would be unreasonable.  Unless it's like a long time girlfriend who might as well be a wife...  and in that case...  man up and put a ring on it.   So two, reasonably nice vehicles.  $60000.  $30000 per car.  So where are we?  1.14 million.  So we've got no mortgage, no car payments and 1.14 million in the bank.

Put it in something that earns you 5% interest.  You can find financial vehicles that pay more, but let's go on the low side...  just to prove a point.   5% interest on 1.14 million compounded monthly is $4750 a month.   So lets run with that.

$4750 - health insurance for a family of 4 $1114- auto insurance for 2 cars and 4 drivers (who drive sensibly) $300 - homeowners insurance on a $300000 home $75 - Food $1500 - Auto maintenance $200 (you won't need that much every month...  it's called budgeting) - Gas $600 =  $961.   $961 - TV/Phone/Internet 150 - Cell phone 160 - utilities 400 = $251.

You have my permission to use the $251 however you choose.   Oh and lest we forget, there's still 1.14 million dollars in the bank.   With that 1.14 million you can... at age 60 start taking out $38000 per year for 30 years assuming death at 90.  Or leave it as an inheritance to your kids.  You know...  just in case they aren't BLESSED enough (you are blessed do you realize that?) to earn millions... with an s... of dollars playing a professional sport and have to go out like the rest of us and SLAVE day in and day out to bring home our meager $50000 per year.   My God, you all must MARVEL at how we all manage to get by on such pathetic earnings.

The millions don't last forever, Mr. NFL player??  Well why the hell not.

Especially if you don't start with 1.5 million and you actually start with 5 or 6 or more.  Millions of dollars....  with an s.

Please don't think that I mean that you all don't earn what you make...  you do.  You never know when your career could just end in a heartbeat.  In a PCL tear.  You just never know.  I'm also not saying that you shouldn't earn that much.  I think you should.   I also think the construction worker, the people who hang off of buildings, the people whose jobs ALSO put them on the line continuously... daily... for potential life changing injury deserve to make that much.  The fact remains that they don't...  but you do...  and I think we, as fans, would like to see a little more appreciation for the position you all are in and the potential earnings you all stand to make.

When comments like "The millions don't last."  and "Who's going to take care of my family if I die or have serious injury?" come out of the mouths of our favorite players while they bring home more that we can imagine in our lifetime?  It doesn't make us like you more.  Or place our alliance on your side.  It just shows us the immense gap that divides you from us.  You entertain us, you make us feel, you make us passionate...  don't ruin that.  Keep your comments to yourself and keep the fans on your side.

Much love to you all.  My heart beats for football from September to February.  Don't take that from your fans.

Amy

CYNTHIA!!!*

Unbeknowst to my dear reader, Cynthia...   she was my 300th comment yesterday!

Tell her what she's won, Bob Barker!!!

Bob Barker**:   A new car!!!

Um, no, Bob...  not quite.

Bob Barker:  Well, shit, I still make good money saying that! Haven't you seen the State Farm commercial?

Maybe with your good money YOU can buy Cynthia the new car.

Bob Barker:  Who?

Forget it.   I'll take it from here.

Bob Barker:   Sounds good ....  on to the Showcase Showdown!

Just. Wow.  Ok.

So Cynthia...  let's have us a little sit-down so we can chat.

First, thank you for reading.   I big puffy red hearts love you for it.   Secondly, thank you for commenting because every comment makes me do a happy dance that looks a LOT like my I have to pee dance, but it comes from a different place emotionally...  I promise.   Thirdly, you haz won prizezzzzz!    (Actually just one prize, but I thought that sounded more fun.)

You have a choice of a $30 eGiftCard to...

1. Sephora
2. Sock Dreams
3. Amazon

So tell me!! Tell me!! What do you choose??? Because HUZZAH to you!!!

*The Cynthia in question would be the Cynthia who left a comment for me yesterday on my Gordon Ramsay post. If you are not that Cynthia, this post does not pertain to you. You did not win an eGiftCard and you most definitely did not win a new car. Also, if you didn't get an email from me? You're not the Cynthia I'm looking for. If you WANTED to win any of those things (minus the new car) you should have commented on my post. But you didn't, so Cynthia, meaning the non-winning Cynthia's of the world... I'm sorry. It's just not your day.

**Celebrity representation.. though deadly accurate... fake.

Gordon Ramsay, what have you done??

Dear Mr. Chef Ramsay,

My husband's new obsession is your show, Kitchen Nightmares.  We DVR every episode.  Seriously... every single episode.  New, old, Kitchen Nightmares, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares... all of 'em.  We'll go to bed at night with like 6 left in the DVR and we'll come home from work the next day and there'll be 17.  Apparently your show is on somewhere most hours of the day. But of course, you probably know that.

My husband and I used to go out to eat...  a lot.  We enjoyed it very much.  It was always a nice, pleasant time.   Now, at dinner out I hear things like this:

• The basil is over-cooked and bitter.


• The Marsala sauce is too thin.  They should have reduced it.


• There aren't any pine nuts in this pesto.

Yes, going out to eat used to be fun.  Now it's laden with criticisms, critiques and thoughtful pondering expressions while he tries to figure out both what is IN what he's eating and what would be better.

And he cooks now.  About 4 nights a week we have dinner at home.   Lemon chicken salad, barbecue chicken, veal parmesan,  homemade pizza from scratch.  Dough from scratch...  sauce from scratch.  Oh and Italian wedding soup... which was lovely.   It all is.  It's fabulously delicious.  He's really good.  Really. Good.

You've created a monster that has made going out to eat a nightmare and eating at home a delight.

You've created a chef.

Thank you.

Your biggest fan's wife,

Amy

I'm with the band...

I have something I'm SO excited about!!

I joined up with Band Back Together in an actual working capacity. The Band meant so much to me when I posted there about my grandfather's suicide a little over 3 months ago. It's creator, Aunt Becky, who is one of my blogging heroes, by the way, asked me if I'd like to join up. Um, yes please? And so I did.

I find I'm so excited about this I can barely stand myself and it's only been 3 days and my husband already is starting to sigh when I mention the band. I may have been talking about it incessantly over the past 36 hours... maybe.

And it's so crazy, but now I talk to Aunt Becky like almost every day. It's amazing. And she's just as lovely as I thought she was.

If you haven't been over to The Band yet, you so need to check it out. Many of you, like me, may just see it as a place were amazing people have overcome extraordinary circumstances. Like me, it may even make you feel grateful that you have nothing to write. And then, like me, out of nowhere, one day you might. And when you do? The Band will be there for you, too.

It's an extraordinary place and I could not be more honored to be a part of it.